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Marriage is a relationship where one person is always right, and the other person is the husband.

My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.

I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me. She said, "Yes, I often fantasize about you being quiet."

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_🔨ᴿᵉᵃᵈʸ ᵗᵒ ᵇᵘᶦˡᵈ ᵗʰᵉ ᶠᵒᵘⁿᵈᵃᵗᶦᵒⁿ ᵒᶠ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᵃᶜᵗᶦⁿᵍ ᶜʳᵃᶠᵗ___ᴶᵒᶦⁿ ᵘˢ (M

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